Cream Cheese

About a year ago, I moved away from New York to Virginia. Virginia has many things to recommend it, particularly over what New York has become in recent years. However, there is one thing Virginia doesn't have (although it's become damn hard to find in New York too): TempTee Cream Cheese.

If you've never had it, it's a completely different creature from Philadelphia (named for the city in New York, not Pennsylvania, incidentally). Even Philadelphia isn't quite what it used to be, and mostly you find the stuff in the tubs which has kind of a greasy feel and taste to it. I always thought of Philadelphia blocks as good cooking cream cheese, but not eating quality (just as you wouldn't pour a glass of cooking grade wine into a glass to drink).

In any case, I got a delivery of bagels and bialys (at an exhorbident price- going to need to start baking soon, it's just not worth it, and they're already old by the time I get them) and just had it up to here with the garbage cream cheese options. So, hell with it. I would make my own.

This recipe has gone through many rounds and tweaks. As I tasted this last iteration, I found myself thinking it was just a little too rich for my taste, trying to think what else I could do. It was at this point that I realized that I had licked the spatula clean and wanted more. So, while I do think it could use a little bit more tweaking, I think you'll still get a tasty product from it. A little bit of salt, sour, sweet, and creamy all nicely balanced together.

That said, this recipe is one of the rare ones that I would recommend you tweak very carefully- it is highly sensitive to proportion changes and believe me, it doesn't take much to turn something nice into something almost inedible.

You will need:
1. 6 cups whole milk
2. juice of 2 lemons (note: you can use the concentrate stuff if you have to, no shame in it- but be careful in adding it as you will tend to need to use less than the fresh stuff).
3. 1 level tsp kosher salt.
4. 1/4 tsp sugar
5. 3 tbsp heavy cream
6. 1/2 tsp egg yolk
7. 3 tsp whey (you'll make it yourself, don't worry- see below)

You will also need:
1. medium saucepan
2. rubber spatula
3. strainer (preferably the wire kind with the little metal tabs that let it rest atop a bowl)
4. large bowl
5. food processor

Add the milk to the saucepan and put on stove on a medium heat. Stir gently as it comes up to temperature. You want the milk scalded- just below simmering.

Set up your drying/filtering station. Bowl on bottom, strainer above, cheesecloth lining the strainer. I like to separate the layers of cheesecloth and lay one layer in one direction and the other 90 degrees in the strainer. This lets me make sure the whole strainer is covered by the cheesecloth (always a hair too narrow...) and doubles the filtration fineness. The strainer should be a couple of inches off the bottom of the bowl. If it isn't, you'll have a rough time of it.

Add 3/4ths of the lemon juice (you may want to just juice 1 1/2 lemons for now to make this a little easier, up to you, but reserve 1/4th of the lemon juice for much later) in halves- half the amount, stir for a few moments, then the rest of it. The curds will form very rapidly. How do you know when you've added enough? When the whey is clearly a green color and not just clear.

Carefully pour the saucepan into the cheesecloth-lined strainer. You may need to let some of the whey go through before you finish pouring it all. Make sure you get all the bits and blobs in the pot. Let the curds sit and drain for 15-30 minutes. You do not need to press or squeeze the curds, just leave them alone and they'll leave you alone.

Once the curds have drained, dump into the food processor. Add the salt, sugar, heavy cream, egg yolk, remaining lemon juice, and take three teaspoons (1 tbsp) of the green drained whey and add it too. Pulse the food processor and occasionally use your spatula to push everything back down again. Process until smooth. Taste.

If you plan to add chives, this would be the time to add them and process a little bit longer until they are well integrated.

As I said, I think it's a touch rich, but I'm so used to commercial stuff. The egg yolk is added because the fats don't entirely suspend in the mixture otherwise, leading to a grainy cream cheese. Egg yolk contains lecithin, which emulsifies the fats. Do not add the whole egg yolk, it will turn the cream cheese disgustingly eggy and suppress a lot of the delicate flavors you've created and added. If you follow this recipe, you'll have something smooth and tasty to put on your bagel. Enjoy!